They often start when we’re in a situation in which we feel powerless. Our perception of the situation is that the other person did something to us and we had no choice or recourse. We feel angry, afraid, out of control, betrayed, or other emotions. Since we couldn’t do anything else, we decided to hold a grudge in an attempt to get our power back, feel better, and protect ourselves from being in that situation or feeling that way again.
If we experienced the situation as adults, it’s energetic roots likely come from childhood or past lives. The situation may have been different, but the energy is the same.
Grudges can also start as learned behavior, perhaps from our parents, relatives, teachers, other caregivers, or community. For example, growing up in a community in which different races or ethnicities historically didn’t get along.